Shabbat shalom! A tip of the kipah this week to my granddaughter Abby Rose who we are honoring today at her official naming ceremony. Given her middle name is Rose, named for her maternal great grandmother, and her Yiddish name is Laika, named for Lillian Goverman, my Bubbie, it’s quite appropriate that Michael and Kalie have decided upon a garden party theme for the event. But probably an indoor garden party by the looks of the clouds gathering currently, and the high probability of rain in the forecast.
Given all that is going on around Sharon this weekend, including Abby’s naming, having my brother and mother in town, and Lauren and Ian moving into their new house in Sharon, I am taking a slightly different tack this week. Rather than starting with my usual rants on the news, and given that tomorrow is Father’s Day, I have decided to introduce the news this week with an assortment of lame Dad jokes (redundancy?). I can hear you all groaning already, but it begs the question: why are bad jokes more funny when we call them Dad jokes? And if you had to choose among these, which is your winning selection? And if none of these work for you, feel free to email me a few of your own favorites.
- A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
- How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.
- I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden,but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
- I was addicted to the hokey pokey…but I turned myself around.
- When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.
- I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills. Those were Goodyears.
- When does a joke become a “dad joke”? When it becomes apparent.
My apologies.
Now, what about some news for the Jews you ask? Where is that cornucopia of columns carefully curated for our cranial consumption? Well, your wait is finally over. Here, for your reading pleasure, is a roundup of jewy journalism cut and pasted from the likes of The Forward, Times of Israel, Jewish Boston, Kveller, JTA, and other notable sources of Hebrew headlines.
- Daniel Ellsberg dead at 92 – scorned by Nixon and many Jews as well – Nixon called him “an arrogant Jew”, but his name would become synonymous with telling truth to power. After the much-heralded Pentagon Papers publication, Ellsberg was scorned as a “disgrace to the Jewish people” by Bernard Barker, a future Watergate burglar and undercover operative of Jewish origin. A more astute observer, the political theorist Hannah Arendt, noted that governments lying were hardly anything new, nor did the Pentagon Papers really contain startling revelations, or evidence of sustained conspiracy by successive presidencies, despite Ellsberg’s claims. Even so, Ellsberg’s name retained a prestigious aura for his risking imprisonment for truth-telling. Click here for more.
- Jury finds Pittsburgh synagogue shooter guilty on all counts – (JTA) — The gunman who committed the worst antisemitic attack in U.S. history is guilty of all 63 charges he faced, according to the verdict delivered by a federal jury on Friday morning. The verdict includes the determination that Robert Bowers, who killed 11 worshippers at a Pittsburgh synagogue on Oct. 27, 2018, is guilty of all 22 capital charges he faced — two for each of his victims. The sentencing phase of the trial will begin next week, during which the jury of seven women and five men will consider whether to give the defendant the death penalty.
- 🏫 Only in Florida? Supporters of a candidate to run the schools in Naples, Florida, accosted a local rabbi outside a school board meeting last month telling him that he’s “on the path to sin” and that Judaism is “not a real religion.” The rabbi said he had gone to the meeting to speak out against the candidate for superintendent, who had said during his job interview that “unchurched” Americans were causing its “moral decline.” (JTA)
- 🇺🇸 But no invite for Bibi? Israeli news outlets are reporting that President Joe Biden has invited Israeli President Isaac Herzog to the White House in July.Herzog is also planning to address a joint session of Congress to mark the 75th anniversary since Israel’s founding. (Times of Israel)
- 🎶 Not so fast Ed – Ed Sheeran’s Sunday concert drew 89,000 to New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium, which some said was its all-time attendance record. Turns out, that honor remains with the 2012 Siyum Hashas, when 93,000 Jews gathered to celebrate the completion of a seven-and-a-half year cycle of studying a page of Talmud each day known as Daf Yomi. (JTA)
- 🎭 On Culture: Director Judd Apatow interviewed Mel Brooks in advance of Brooks’ 97th birthday later this month. The two discussed Brooks’ time serving in World War II, the rise in antisemitism and the essence of Jewish humor. (The Atlantic)
- More On Culture: Inspired by Pfish and LSD, Matisyahu is on top of his game – Matisyahu’s personal and religious journey — from non-religious stoner teen to Hasidic reggae rocker to non-Orthodox Jewish performer — has been tracked closely by media world-wide. From 2001 to 2007, Matisyahu (born Matthew Paul Miller) was associated with the Chabad-Lubavitch movement based in Crown Heights in Brooklyn, N.Y. In 2011, he shaved the bushy beard that had become a signature part of his image. In his own words, “I wasn’t religious but I remember drinking mushroom tea and coming out wrapped in an Israeli flag with sage burning,” he said. “I decided: I love music, I love drugs, but I sort of need to make that next step. And being who I am, I did that in a drastic way and decided okay, I need to become something.” He sure did.
That’s all folks! Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there, and enjoy the weekend. And, hey, let’s be careful out there.
Brad out.
Jew News Review 