The Jew News Review – May 11, 2024 – “What would your mother think?”

Shabbat shalom! 

A tip of the kippah this week to all the mothers out there, especially my own, who at 93 years young, is still going strong and who I consider to be the matriarch of the JNR! Mothers have always been held in high regard within our crazy culture, almost always considered paragons of virtue, and mine has certainly done more than her fair share of validating and extending that perception. Which reminds me of an ethics training course I was required to attend at Arthur Andersen back in the 80’s. In addition to some notable lessons on business ethics, the course provided some great meeting swag, including a mechanical pencil with the inscription, “What would your mother think?”, which of course was a thematic attempt to help guide our future decision making. Maybe if more Partners at Arthur Andersen infused the wisdom of the pen in their decision making, the firm would still be around. Maybe not.

Unfortunately, as virtuous as many mothers may be, they bear and rear children into this world, many of whom go to college and don’t necessarily adopt their mother’s ethics, or the same mature understanding of the world. They are, after all, just kids, with half baked brains that are subjected to influences from within and outside the walls of their university. As the National Institute for Mental Health puts it, “The brain finishes developing and maturing in the mid-to-late 20s. The part of the brain behind the forehead, called the prefrontal cortex, is one of the last parts to mature. This area is responsible for skills like planning, prioritizing, and making good decisions.” In other words, their brains are half baked, or as one scribe put it, “their batter is still sticking to the toothpick”.

That is about the nicest thing I can say about the knuckleheads that continue to support Hamas and Palestinians in their catered “tentifatas” that are now disrupting commencement plans at many campuses across the country. At my Alma Mater, UMass Amherst, over 130 were arrested as police were called in to clear the encampments there. As a result of the university’s actions, Pulitzer Prize-winning author Colson Whitehead said he is withdrawing as this year’s graduation speaker. What would your mother think Colson?

And things could not get any crazier. The headlines this week were insane! Here are just a few: The cicada zombie apocalypse (Two broods of cicadas have arrived in parks and backyards, some infected with a “zombie” fungus); “Youth candidate” 70 year old Robert Kennedy’s worm-eaten and mercury infected brain; Puppy-killer Kristi Noem’s weird and fake story about meeting Kim Jong Un; Nikki Haley wins more than 20% of Indiana’s Republican primary votes despite dropping out of the race months ago; Sen. Katie Britt, known for her TradWife State of the Union response, is doubling down on the brand, introducing a bill that could start a database of pregnant people in the US. 

Buried beneath this rubble of news nonsense is the ongoing trial of a former POTUS and convicted sexual assault artist, the orange turd, for falsifying papers in order to silence a porn star from revealing their sexual dalliance, if that is what you call getting spanked with a magazine with your own image on the cover. And we have that trial to thank for bringing back historical reports of Monica Lewinsky doing oral on Clinton’s anal. You really can’t make this shit up, and, all of these headlines are my way of backing into the real headline story of the week, Biden’s abandonment of Israel. 

While many in Israel are practically apoplectic in their anger over Biden’s decision to delay any more arms shipments to Israel (“U.S. President Joe Biden’s betrayal of Israel is unpardonable, and he is beyond redemption”) due to the administration’s disagreement with Israel’s tactics in removing Hamas, some are more realistic. I was really proud of Biden’s initial support, and his trip to Israel where he met personally with and provided empathy to families of hostages, which is a lot more than Netanyahu has done. But I am also a realist, and recognize the political pressure he is currently feeling from the left to do more to end the collateral death and damage to innocents sooner rather than later. I do not agree with the decision, but could sense it was just a matter of time. Israeli experts Dan Senor and Haviv Rettig Gur also predicted the same on Dan’s “Call Me Back” podcast titled “Israel’s Sophie’s Choice”.Haviv’s attitude was that even if Biden eventually throws Israel under the bus for the sake of his campaign, “dayenu, he’ll have done enough”.

Well, you have probably had enough of my smarmy commentary on the headlines, so let’s get to the jewcy stuff! Here then, for your enjoyment and edification, is an especially engrossing edition of editorial exclusives copied and pasted from the likes of The Forward, Haaretz, Kveller, Jewish Boston, Times of Israel, and other fine Jewishy journals:

1. On the war…
   1. IDF calls on Gazans to leave additional Rafah neighborhoods as it presses operation – 300,000 have left southern Gaza city to ‘humanitarian zone,’ military assesses; IDF also gearing up for fresh operation in north Gaza’s Jabaliya, as Hamas renews presence there
   2. President Joe Biden said Wednesday that he would not supply offensive weapons to Israel if it launches an all-out assault on populated areas in Rafah.
   3. Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle are urging the Biden administration to reverse course on any delayed congressionally approved weapons transfers to Israel. You can also make your opinion heard via this link: Tell President Biden and Congress to support Israel!
   4. 4 rockets fired at Kerem Shalom from Rafah; one intercepted, others hit open areas – Four rockets were launched from southern Gaza’s Rafah at the border community of Kerem Shalom, the military says. One of the rockets was intercepted by the Iron Dome, while the other three hit open areas, the IDF says. There are no injuries in the attack. In recent days, Hamas has repeatedly attacked the Kerem Shalom area and the nearby border crossing.
   5. The first shipment of aid to the U.S.-built floating pier in Gaza departed today from Cairo.
   6. Police in Amsterdam warned people to avoid a canal and thoroughfare in the city’s center as an effort to remove a pro-Palestinian encampment there turned violent on Wednesday.
   7. Should “From the river to the sea” be allowed on Facebook and Instagram? The company’s oversight board is now considering the question.
2. On Campus…
   1. In an open letter, hundreds of Jewish students at Columbia University wrote that their “concerns have been brushed off and invalidated” when calling out antisemitism on campus.
   2. A pro-Palestinian student who disrupted a UC Berkeley dean’s backyard dinner by making a speech about the war in Gaza has filed a complaint, saying the dean attacked her because she is Muslim. The school is investigating the incident.
   3. The University of Southern California’s academic senate, which primarily consists of faculty members, voted to censure the school’s president after weeks of turmoil on campus, including the cancellation of a Muslim valedictorian’s commencement speech.
   4. Administrators at San Francisco State University negotiated with protest leaders over the school’s investments in Israel. That meeting took place on the campus quad and was livestreamed for all to witness.
   5. Administrators at Trinity College in Ireland agreed to divest from three Israeli companies as part of a deal made with protesting students.
3. ✈️  Two Orthodox yeshiva students who had never met were both ordered off an American Airlines flight this week, after one raised concerns about the plane’s tail. One of them is now weighing legal action. (Forward)
4. 🧬 Now, what was I going to publish here? – A new study is seeking to explain why Sephardi Jews are more likely to get early-onset Alzheimer’s. The research team includes both Israeli and American doctors, and is funded by a $13 million grant from the National Institutes of Health in the U.S. (Times of Israel)
5. Antisemitic douche bag and rapper Macklemore released a new song that defends pro-Palestinian college protests and condemns Israel. The music video has garnered tens of millions of views. Macklemore has always been an anti-Semite, and with the widespread recirculation of photos featuring him with a fake rabbinic beard and prosthetic hook nose, this should be obvious to everyone.

6. Get the bastard – Sinwar not hiding in Rafah, as PM publicly prioritizes IDF op there – Officials say recent intel placed the Hamas leader in underground tunnels around Khan Younis, as the accused October 7 mastermind continues to elude Israeli forces in Gaza

Finally, let’s end on a more positive musical note. The Eurovision song contest continues in Malmo this week, with judges now narrowing the field to 10 finalists. Israel’s Eden Golan is among the finalists, representing Israel proudly, demonstrating grace, beauty and talent under intense pressure and security arrangements. Thousands of pro-Palestinians have marched in protest around the event, but undaunted, and laden with talent, Eden remains composed, focused, and a tremendous ambassador for the beleaguered Israel. Here is a link to her song she performs, “Hurricane”. The song is a re-write of an earlier version called “October Rain”, which was turned down by the Eurovision committee for being too political. The new version, which was panned by many Israeli critics as being “boring”, has become quite popular in Europe, and many Isreali’s feel it captures the current mood of the nation. It currently is holding second place in the competition.

Enjoy the song. I know her mother must be proud. And hey, stay safe out there everyone! 

Brad out.