September 5, 2020 – Shabbat Shalom! The Jew News Review – Quarantine Week 26 – Scooby-Jew2!

Shabbat shalom, and a Scoobie-Doo to all of you!
Well fellow hebrews, family and friends, it’s been a glorious weather week here in the greater Boston area. For me, that meant plenty of time in the garden, so i tackled a rather large project of moving a few larger plants around for better placement and ascetic purposes. During this effort, I hit a roadblock in the form of a very large boulder (see pic), and although i always feel gardening is a labor of love, moving this rock was more like the punishment of sisyphus. Rather than give up, I asked my landscaper to help, so 3 of his guys labored for about a half hour and eventually moved the giant rock out of the way. Why am i boring you with this gardening story? I couldn’t help but making the analogy of moving this boulder to removing from office the huge pile of orange excrement that is our current President. That analogy was partially aided by my mother’s practically daily venting of what new horrors the a-hole has committed. Lesson here is that we need to make every effort to cajole, bribe, extort, whatever, all of our friends and relatives and acquaintances, or anyone you see on the street that is of voting age, to move this awful boulder and blight out of office and into jail, which is where he belongs. Nuf said.

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Now for what you have all been constantly annoying me for (the emails never end!), the news of the jews for the week:
Israel secretly funding American PACS that support anti Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions movement against Israel. – I don’t like secrets, but i also don’t like the BDS movement.

A 600 page tome on Jewish laws around the Corona virus? Only Jews could pull that off, and this rabbi of rabbi’s started the process. What does Halacha have to say about a Zoom prayer meeting? Does it meet the minion requirements of Jewish Law? For those itching for an answer to this vital question, read all about here.

What to do about Rosh? Why not a virtual seder? Daniel and Ruth, this one’s for you. New Shofar blast: Zoom-iah!

– QAnon and anti-Semitism? Shocking. George Soros must have made that up

.- “Radical Amazement”, what is it, and why do we miss it? No, it’s not how Sandy feels about me.

– The role of Soup in Jewish History. Matzah ball molotov cocktails? I didn’t make this up, but the story came to light due to the orange turd’s baseless assertion of Campbell soup cans being weaponized by social justice protesters. Interesting read. 

– How my dear friend Scoobie became a friend of the Jewish people. Sadly, mourners kaddish begins here. 

Dear Bintel: Can i skip school even if i don’t go to shul? Will i insult my orthodox cousins if i have a photographer at my wedding rehearsal dinner on shabbat? My answer on the latter: if they are ugly, just don’t take their picture! Problem solved!


That’s all for now. And hey, let’s be careful out there!
Brad out. https://assets.forward.com/pdfs/ShabbatNL-090420.pdf

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