The Jew News Review – January 8, 2022 – “You gotta put your behind in your past”

Shabbat shalom everyone! 

My back aches from shoveling over a foot of snow, but I am now looking out at a beautiful blue sky and a strong, bright sun which is creating a snow sparkle effect that is nothing short of brilliant. I am certainly looking forward to the warmth of Palm Springs (we leave next weekend), but I also still enjoy the winter snows and changing seasons of New England. And I look forward to many sledding and skiing adventures with Max and other grandchildren to come. And Ruby, our guest Berna-doodle, is bounding and bouncing around in the snow as though the sight of the white stuff ignited some DNA-based adrenalin in her soul. 

Thankfully, 2021 has ended. While there were many silver linings in what was an otherwise weird year, I am hopeful that 2022 will be a better year for all of us and for the country. Upon reflection, 2021 was a stellar year for the JNR with endorsements from many major sponsors and a loyal readership that doubled in size. Because of those many endorsements, we were able to hold our subscription fees steady at $0, provided many of you with some awesome and free swag, and launched our website www.jewnewsreview.com. One of our loyal readers, Jody Frank, also launched her own Substack, which is awesome and recommended if you enjoy reading interesting, well written stories. Here is a link to her sub stack Things Invisible to See

But, as Pumba from the Lion King noted, “You gotta put your behind in your past”! So, with that bit of wart hog wisdom in mind, I am proud to present, for the first time ever, the JNR Oy Vey List for 2022. This being my best guess predictions of things to come in 2022 that will elicit dismay, frustration, grief or just a good ole “Oy”.

  1. Ben and Jerry’s will introduce a new flavor, Yasso Arafudge – Exclusively for West Bank customers, B&J’s introduces the new creamy concoction in a desperate attempt to restore good will with the cranky BDR crowd.
  2. Two Jewish Rap stars, Doja Cat and Lil Dicky, get engaged – Lil Dicky pops the question to Doja with a new rap, “Whatchu know about a balla/Tryna escape the squalla/Born and raised on the kaballah/Reaching out to holla/ Wanna put you in my colla/ And we’ll make a gazillion dolla
  3. Human Rights Watch accused of persecution – Israel takes a page from the Republican play book and accuses the widely respected research and advocacy group that won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997 of mistreating their staff without any legal bearing to do so. 
  4. The Orange Turd and Benjamin Nut-and-yahoo are outed – Melania Trump announces on social media that her husband and the former Israeli Prime Minister have been secret lovers for many years. The Orange Turd denies the claim and tells her to F off.
  5. Mensches With Wrenches goes public – After a successful launch in Sharon, MA, the new community service to help fix stuff for the local elderly becomes the first not-for-profit unicorn with a valuation approaching Apple’s, and the franchise extends their reach to Europe and the middle east. 

If any of these actually happen, feel free to Oy Vey out loud in any public space, and remember, you heard it here first, on the JNR. We will return next week with a traditional issue of the JNR. 

But until then, please be careful out there.

Brad out.

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